For a short while only. Just to tell everyone that I'm not dead yet. XD Just caught up with exams and all. Well, I've decided, I really have to study for this. And I'm trying my best to! A couple of my friends have already gotten scholarships for colleges. OHMIGOSH... I doubt I could.

On a side note, I wonder if I would be able to even write a single one shot for TyKan week. It's going to be right before my graduation ceremony and there are so many things to do!!! As monitor of the class it ain't easy to finish the term... With so much responsibilities to carry out and so many things to watch over... But I'll miss my high school life. I'll definitely miss everyone.

How badly will I cry during the ceremony, I wonder? My tears will definitely flow, and my heart will definitely ache for hours to come. I'll probably end up hiding in my room sobbing.

Ahh, think not of the sorrow, but of the joy that is to follow! Like Hyuuga Neji. Ok, random... But one can't deny that the little Hyuuga (Well, not so little now that he is Jounin, is he?) is extremely lovably hot. XD I seem to have a weird fetish for forbidden, not so popular pairings (*cough* TyKan *cough*) and yesh, I ship NejiHina. It's rather obvious and I'm hoping it becomes canon. KISHIMOTO SENSEI... JUST STATE THAT HINATA IS ENGAGED TO NEJI ALREADY...

Sorry about that, I couldn't help it. My first day back at LJ and I scream about my love for Neji. LOL~

Oh shoot, I have some more physics info to cram. And yes, I AM studying already.

Don't believe me?

Fine. I KNOW HOW NUCLEAR FUSION AND FISSION WORKS~ FINALLY!!!

... You still don't believe me... Do you? Never mind. XD I still can't calculate the actual amount of energy involved anyway. :P

OVER AND OUT~!

I was about to post something regarding my brother and then this writer's block showed up so I figured, why not?

 

Back again after so long and the first thing I put up is a rant. I'm sorry, but I just need somewhere to tell anyone everything. Actually I just need to get it all out, so yeah...

 

I can't study... Whatever mood left I had to study has evaporated and I can't concentrate on anything. Seriously. I cannot. My mind's gone blank, and I can't do anything at all.

I guess I'm worrying too much about too many things and too many people. Get a grip on yourself! Stop worrying about useless and pointless stuff! Can't you for once be a little more selfish and concentrate on what you want??? *headbangs*

Lemme list down what's bugging me. Maybe I'd feel better! Yeppy! Now that's an idea.

1. I'm worried I can't pass my finals and won't be able to get into a good college. Now ain't that seeing too far into the future...
2. I'm trying hard to patch things up with my family but 3 of them warring with one another soon breaks up the atmosphere.
3. I'm lonely. I want to chat with people but the ones that I can talk to either seem distant due to stress or not interested, and the ones that I talk to online... Let's just say I can only see them occasionally.
4. I have deadlines to meet. 3 art entries to submit for various stuff that I piled onto myself, 3 stories, 1 request, and one Grade 8 exam coming up.
5. I can't seem to do anything properly. And I don't have an aim in life, at least, a realistic one. That bugs me like hell.
6. I set impossible to achieve targets for myself and then get worked up because I can't achieve them. Why the heck do I even...
7. I need to sort out my feelings. And no I don't hate guys because I'm messed up. I bash myself for letting them get into my head.
8. I can't eat properly. I can hardly chew. I'm gonna lose a few pounds of whatever weight I had left.
9. I haven't really been praying to God. I wonder if he's mad at me.
10. Now I'm worried I can't do tomorrow's papers. But I can't even concentrate. How in the world am I gonna pass?
11. I know this is a little bit over board but... I WANT THE HETALIA 2010 CALENDAR BUT I CAN'T GET IT...

Lol. Now that that's out. I feel slightly better. Slightly. ~Fweeh~ =w=...

Now to go and try to finish my syllabus. XD!

Love the ending song "Maru Kaite Chikyuu"... XD! Hetalia fetish... And AsaKiku is my guilty pleasure...

 

I haven't posted for ages. Wow... And I had no mood to post anyway. Oh, happy birthday, pita, by the way! XD

It's time to start posting fics, fanfics and non fanfics alike, here. I'm tired of reading them myself. :P... And also my sketches. I'm also tired of hiding them every time my bro comes into my room.

Am in a pretty bad mood now and would very much like to strangle something. But no one wants to read a sob story complaint cum rant entry, right? So I'll keep my complaints to myself. Yay...

HETALIA!!! My other obsession besides TyKan. To be precise, I've actually fallen in love with Arthur x Kiku. Ohmigosh... Hot sexy Arthur... Get outta my head and take adorable Kiku with you... XD And go find a room or something...

And no one is celebrating Kanda's birthday... Which is understandable since he himself would probably murder whoever so much as tries to celebrate his birthday... Since he himself hates his existence... Poor guy.

*pounces on Kanda anyway*

Er-hem, I've not been here for nearly a month. Wow. Lazy me. Fic writing has been so much work lately I've actually been staring at the com screen for over 4 hours each day. I really have to stop. I keep telling myself to stop but I just can't. It's just so fun to write and less fun to study. But I guess I must so I'm turning off the com right after this to go study. A round of applause for me~

Lol... My brother's at camp, and the house is strangely quiet without him. FINALLY! PEACE! Seriously, I've never been happier. And I don't miss him one bit! But take him away for amonth, maybe I'll miss him. Just a little bit...

Enough about mad Kandas and mad bros. More Kiku/Arthur for me! Yesh, I went and got myself hooked on Hetalia and found myself strangely attached to Japan a.k.a. Honda Kiku, who reminds me a little of what Kanda might've been had he not been an exorcist and experimented on. Then I grew fond of England too, Arthur Kirkland, and now, sheesh, I've grown fond of seeing the two of them TOGETHER~ THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! You and that darn video... I keep watching it and squealing... XD

I want Hetalia fanstuff... But too lazy to go find... Whack me...

Hyper today. Why? Because I've started to implement the be-happy-and-cheer-everyone-up-not-bug-them-about-your-worries attitude into my life, that's why.

Besides, everyone was emo and suicidal today. I was surrounded by people who were saying:"I wanna die..." For some strange reason, the emo bug infected everyone but me today. Weird...

So here I was, trying to remain sane as everyone around me either broke down or just poked me for absurd reasons and being the nice me as usual, I let them. Ah well.

Then some were asking me to do certain stuff and fulfill certain requirements for them. Now this is the hard part because most conflict with one another! How in the world can I do or act two things at the same time? Torture man!!! It's like asking me to speak two languages at once, at the same time! So unless I have the gift of tongues, I can't...

Yet knowing me, I'll try my best. I'm even thinking of making muffins to bring tomorrow to cheer em up. Sigh~~~ Someone whack me for being an idiot...

And also, whack me for breaking up my sentences too much. I just have this bad habit. I don't know where I picked it up. God knows, maybe that's why my teacher hated me. XD

My titles are recently capital letters... WHEE~

Anyway, yes, as the title shows, I have got it! There's absolutely no reason for me to whine about my life, when I am doing absolutely nothing to improve it! I have, therefore, resolved to be the shiny happy bug! I will try my best to bring laughter to everyone, be their stressball, carry their stress (and homework), and basically, make everyone happy. Everyone is feeling rotten enough as it is, so no need to make em more rotten.

But before anything else, I have to say this. My brother is a brat, but worse so when he's sick.

Yes, he's sick. Or feigning sick, either one. He complains that he's got a freaking stomach ache and can't go to school, hooray... So when I came home from school, my mum greeted me rather wearily, and told me to go make my own lunch. Dad was sleeping on the couch, and I had no clue there was a brat in bed too. Then my mum asked me to go ask him what he wanted for lunch, so I trooped upstairs and asked him. Mind you, I was nice.

First thing he says is, could you please shut all those irritating noises up? Dang, I only asked a question and he says I'm annoying. Then my mum hollers at me for kidding about skipping lunch and heading straight to bed. And my dad is also moody and all at me.

Then little bro comes downstairs and mind you, he suddenly gets extremely good treatment, asked whether he wants bread or noodles, and the likes. My God. I wished I had stayed back for BK today. I tucked into my noodles all bitter.

On a lighter note, TyKan fic up! Posted chapter 1 on the comm, so if anyone would like to read it, visit the comm named tykan_yuki. I really dunno how to link comms...

My family seems to be driven insane by my brother. I fear for everyone's life. I'm really scared. I want someone to tell me everything will be ok and it will. I want someone to give me some magic so I can make things right again.

Enough about that. I'm too scared to write. I need to reply reviews and PMs anyway. Private messages rule over reviews now. I've started to have one, no wait, make that two, stalker readers.

Just realised I have 463 visitors to my TyKan story last month, 173 for these three days. Total so far, 636, unless my calculations are wrong. Which makes me happy. Very happy. And very shocked. My crack fic seems to be faring well too. 322 so far. WOW

My reviews seem to get better too. No more constructive criticism, I missed them... Now all I get is requests to update. Can't anyone tell me there's something wrong with my fics?

Oh sheesh, I do have severe problems. I can't even believe that I'm improving.

I need people to criticise me. I am sick.

I need pills. TyKan pills.

XD~~~

Oh my God I'm afraid. I may not look like it because I have trained myself to have an expressionless face or a happy hyper exterior but inside I'm shaking like hell. I'm afraid of so many things actually, but I always try to hide.

My parents are arguing so frequently now. Either they've been like this since I was born but I was too young and naive to notice or they've reached their mid-life crisis. Gawd... What with my brother acting like a brat as well... And then there's exams and society issues... And friendship unstability... My life's a living hell! But I've made the decision to live through it, although I'm starting to regret it a bit now...

 

This is kinda freaky...

I was doing a little analysis on my life and my troubles and suddenly I realised, that this year seems to be a repeat of my most traumatic year in the past. All my problems and troubles seem to be coming back to haunt me!

My journal does sound a bit emo. To tell you the truth, I never had a really good childhood. And I may seem happy on the outside but inside, is a frightened child who is praying that history will never ever repeat itself again. But it does seem awfully like it is...

I need to write. Writing is the only way I can forget everything and just enter a new world... Even if the new world has Kanda and Tyki making out in front of me... JUST KIDDING! That would be a hot albeit rather perverted world though. I don't think I can stand the hotness...

My fanfics seem to get good response. Chibi Kanda is well loved, which is ironic, since I thought he was quite a brat. Sorry, Kanda. Your chibi form was a bit annoying, that's all. Ok, what am I saying, you were rather bitchy as a kid!!! Again, i'm sorry because it was moi who made you that OOC.

I have to end my entry here due to the fear that Kanda will take my life. He's glaring at me with a look that says he would very much like to hurt me rather badly... But I took Mugen away, so he can't. Oh wait... Is that why he's mad at me?

Gotta go. XP

I do realise I'm posting on a daily basis now. I seem to have so much to say but yet I don't want to hurt people with my sharp words anymore so I use this journal. Sigh...

Be happy. I told myself, I'll try to be happy.

But how when your bratty brother gets the best of things and you don't?

Today is my parents' 21st wedding anniversary. My brother, after having pissed my dad off last Sunday, has yet to reconcile with them. He refuses to say sorry after deliberately being rude to my dad. And now he's saying my mum is a nagging old woman that he's tired of because she's trying to get him to see the error of his ways.

So here my parents are, spending their night downstairs watching the tv. They planned to go out for dinner, but "something" (and I bet it has the word obnoxious little brother in it) seems to be bugging their mind and they couldn't possibly push it out of their heads to concentrate on their romantic dinner so they decided to cancel their plans instead. I may not be the best daughter around but I know how they feel, and since he's acting like the brat, I'm trying my best to be a good daughter and do all I can to please and make them confortable.

Then he comes home, I'm busy serving dinner, so I open the gate for him and unlock the door and rush back downstairs, expecting that when he enters the house and sees no loyal big sister waiting by the door he'd have enough sense to lock the gate and door himself.

But no~~~ He left the dang thing open, and my father sees it. And he says why is it open. And guess who gets hell from my mother?

"Oh, no~~~ Which idiot would leave the gate open and expect the other person to lock it without leaving a note for them to? You have to be more specific... Blah blah blah."

The HECK??! Here I am trying to be nice, here I am doing much, much more than that IDIOT on the Ipod, and I get shot down at the very first opportunity. And HIM. HIMMM!!! HE gets to act like king, HE gets to skip out on the house chores, HE gets to enjoy everything!!! They're actually still WAITING for him to apologise, they're just ignoring him but in their hearts I know that my parents are such loving people that they still want to believe that my brother can actually FEEL remorse and will soon apologise to them in another 24 hours.

I just don't freaking get it. I am expected to do a whole bunch of stuff, and I cannot, EVER screw up. But HE can screw up BIG TIME and the whole world will still wait for him to make a speech about how sorry he would've been if he HAD felt sorry and at the end they would applaud and accept his apology but in reality he did NOT say sorry but just say he would have said sorry IF he had been wrong.

Oh sheesh. I manage to make my spirits lift for 21 hours and it has to be brought down again. Hey wait, I managed some humour in this post, didn't I? YESH!!!

Sorry, I'm just desperately afraid I'll return to suicidal mode. I don't want to die, but yet living is such a pain to me. Ironic much.

No, not an emo one, just bored and wondering, how to advertise the comm... It needs members... FWAHH~

It's 10 p.m. at night and I have yet to eat my dinner. I'm not the least bit hungry but I am rather stuck writing a poem. Yet my parents are yelling at me to eat... WTH... I don't feel like eating anything...

I wanna go watch CSI... But I have poems and fics to finish! See how dedicated I am? And note that I have started becoming very narcissistic. Meaning I'm starting to love myself. Well here are the rules my doctor has prescribed to me and I have to try and follow in case I try and do something everyone will regret...

1. Be more optimistic. Even when your teacher gives you too much work, smile and say YEPPY MORE SHIT!

2. Love yourself. Seriously, love yourself. As in, I am the most awesome person in the world and there's no one else I'd much rather be in love with. Lol.

3. Stop thinking too much. No one likes a thinker. Except people who think that a near naked guy hunching with his muscles flexed is a wonderful artpiece to display.

4. WRITE! It's an incredible way to output your angsty emotions! You can kill the characters instead of yourself! You can MAKE them kill themselves! WOOT!
Kanda: What the heck. Our lives are in the hands of that moron?
Me: I'm no moron! I'm the best writer there ever is, MUAHAHAHAHA!
Tyki: Oh-kay... I have a nasty feeling that we're in for some torture... SM much???
Me: SM! Yeppie~~~
Kanda: Bastard Noah, shut the fuck up. You're giving her ideas.
Tyki: ... I'm having Teases in my stomach... I don't feel good...
Me: Do you mean butterflies in your stomach? Pretty... I wonder how Kanda would feel like with Tease in his...
Kanda: THAT'S IT! I've had it with this insane writer! *unsheathes Mugen*
Yeah, unfortunately, if your characters are a wee bit towards the scary side... You end placing yourself in a lot of life threathening situations.

5. Focus your remaining energy in fandom. Pick a random (DGM!) fandom to follow, write fics about (DGM!!) it, collect the entire (DGM!!!) series, and do your best as a (DGM!!!~~~) fangirl. Oops, did I accidently slip too much DGM into the random spaces?

TA~ Done. Must now go eat dinner or mum will freak and dad will disown me. SHEESH! What's the big deal anyway?

Sorry, was too bored, had nothing better to do, so decided to try out cuts.

 

Eureka!!! I've got it!!! I've got it this time!!! I finally understand how to use an lj-cut!!!

Lol. I know that sounded lame. But I'm a total idiot, I know. Yet I have to force myself to learn, because I have to update a comm now.

Yes I have officially started the TyKan comm. And I need members. Lots and lots of members. SQUEAL~~~ People who are interested! Please join or contact me so I can make you all mods too! I'm lonely...

First, can anyone tell me how to change formats so the comm won't look like a dark dingy place but a more... Personal gathering? I can't draw, I really can't. I mean, I do not have confidence in my drawing skills, so someone else has to draw some really hot TyKan banners though...

Well, I'd better get back to learning how to design stuff. Pleasure and Illusions is an unlucky comm to have me as head... Someone wanna assist?

Yours truly,
Mina-san
Hoping to make the world a better place for TyKan

Just a question that's been bugging my mind... Why has no one bothered to start a TyKan comm? Or just some random forum that dedicates entirely to this hot pairing? I can't find a place where TyKan lovers can get together and post stuff or talk or... Well, you get the picture...

Yes there are TyKan fics in comms like dgmyaoi and stuff like that, but there are only so little... Everyone prefers to read Yullen or YuuLav (Not that I have anything against those pairings, I like them too). There's even a Lucky comm for Lavi x Tyki! SOB!!!

Which makes me wanna start one. Thing is, will anyone join or will it just end up being me waiting there like a total idiot. Alone. As the sole member... More sobs...

Nevermind, I'll brood over starting the comm... Maybe I will. We'll see.

Mina-san
TyKan writer's dilemma!